Saturday, January 31, 2009

Fighting natural forces in an unnatural world

In the name of God, Most Merciful, Most Kind,

* * *

What do moms fight about?

This one fights about the right to be more than a mother - to have an identity outside of the so-called mould.

I'm frustrated because I was raised to have many (perhaps too many) ambitions, and now I've got to tuck them into bed every night - as I tuck in the l'il women who have supplanted those ambitions.

I don't mind having to tuck the girls in, but I do mind having to suppress elements of my personality. Perhaps they hearken too much to a time long gone; but why must it be one or the other?

Some parents put their all into their children's up-bringing, and I'm truly impressed with the results. But I have a hard time doing it. Does that mean I'm a bad parent -- that I want about a third of my time, for myself?

Okay, so Islam is about being altruistic, true. And motherhood, is about sacrifice. Yes. But don't I have a right anywhere?

Is this a Western-influenced upbringing talking? A diatribe of the well-to-do mommy who has too little of substance to truly worry about (thank God); or do I have a right to have some time to recharge?

If only I could please everyone, equally, and not have to apologize for the li'l voice that struggles for a bit more than mommy duty.